Someone told me they remember the dog Toddy Pop.
Things that happened on the brae
Have gathered fame in such a way
That when you hear a tale re-told
Events and times they just unfold
And there before your very eyes
A long past day can materialize
So here from me is such a tale
Which I hope cannot fail
To awaken memories of those days
For it's all about a certain blaze.
I try to remember quite sincere
To recall and name that very year
But memory plays some funny tricks
Would you say about twenty-six
Was that the year they covered the burn
I've tried to sort them out in turn
Had we yet to hear the master joke *
The stopping of the toon's big clock *
Or was it, say, nearer twenty eight
It's an awful job remembering a date.
Jimmy Cowan had Picked that day
To tar and chip the Schoolwell Brae
The sun it shone in sultry glory
But most of us were feeling sorry
Tar and chips and oor bare feet
Was reason enough to make us bleet
We'd have liked to say just when
This could be done by Cowan's men
But such impish modest joys of life
Were forever getting us into strife.
In passing tho' just let me mention
Needs must is not a new invention
Wull Fulton's job of spreading tar
Began to stretch a bit ower far
Tho the chips were still quite near
To shift the biler it was very clear
Was a most sensible thing to do
So Jimmy rallied his chosen few
And tho' I never heard them brag
That job was tackled with just a sprag.
Advice is wasted in such faith sublime
Tho, it doesn't happen, every time
Who'd thought this simple operation
Was going to cause such a sensation
But by some devilish twist of fate
The sprag man was just too late
And ere you'd time to say achone
That biler had started on it's own
And as it went it's wobbly way
Jimmys' few hairs turned to grey.
Auld Wullie Connelly's wee bit pavement
Was there to stop its reckless descent
But its momentum was curbed too soon
And the biler finished upside doon
Blazing tar spread o'er the camber
Amid the general noise and clamour
Laithuc Saunders who heard the crash
Put out his head and burned his moustache
While Jeanie Burns stepped oot the Shell
And thought she'd landed right in hell
Smoky flames flew high in the air
Which promptly brought Fireman Mair
Mary McCulloch was there as well
But not for long it's sad to tell
She grabbed her parrot and her cat
And disappeared so that was that
As somebody grabbed a water hose
And started to douche the teapot close
Teddy Pop rose growling to his feet
Then ambled casually down the street.
When wide awake mid horrors scenes
Haunting fancies or terrors dreams
Among the startling scenes we weave
Peace and calm comes hard to believe
So it happened on that tar stained brae
As the smoky flames all cleared away
Yet only feelings had cause to grieve
Which some folk find hard to believe
As through this life we thoughtless plod
How many remember the grace of God.
But back again to finish the story
Points and pencillings epic and glory
Wull Fulton who ached in every joint
Slipped into the Shell and had a pint
Matha Mair who was past his best
Sat doon at the brig to take a rest
Auld Mary aired her injured feelings
Lamenting about her smoked ceilings
Toddy Pop came yawning doon the pun
Stretched himself and lay doon in the sun.
I'm sairly tempted to tear this up
In Jimmy's career his one slip up
But Peter's bound tae ken it tae
As well as we who saw that day
But who among us has'na a flaw
Oor whitest white would blemish snaw
Oor ain wee faults we canna hide
On second thoughts I'll let it bide
This world would be a sorry place
If we all lacked compassions grace.
