Jokes

[Jim McCreadie]

The Confession
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads...

Nerves of Steel - Woman stops 3.5metre croc with .22 pistol
A Darwin woman, Beverly Thompson, 38, has stopped a crocodile attack using a small .22 caliber Ruger pistol. This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.
Here's her story in her own words:
"While walking along the edge of a lake near my house in the Zuccoli Village Estate near Darwin discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 3.5metre crocodile which suddenly emerged from the murky water.
It began charging us with its large jaws wide open.
She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.
If I had not had my little Ruger .22 calibre pistol with me, I wouldn't be here today!" said Beverly.
Just one shot to my estranged husband's kneecap was all it took.
The croc got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.
The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible - and his life insurance was also a big bonus!.
It makes a good case for permits “to carry licensed firearms in the Northern Territory."