golfing disaster

[chriso]

I recall one of the most embarrassing moments of my life that happened one weekend when Jim Hughey (jarnielh) and me went for a game of golf to some country club (I can’t remember the name of it) somewhere down Portarlington way.

We had 2 sets of clubs one of which belonged to a professional golfer we knew called Jim Scott.

We tossed a coin to see who got the good set and I ended up with the other set.
As we joined the queue to tee off, the starter spied the professional bag which had Jim Scott Slazenger in bold writing on it. He must have assumed that we were good golfers.

Anyway he came over to us and said in a low voice. “I’ll slip you on next so that you don’t have to hang about”
Jim teed off first and hit a reasonable drive up the middle of the fairway.
Then I teed up and could feel about forty pair of eyes boring into me.

I drew back the club and swung with all my might, and hit about a foot behind the ball taking a huge divot which went about 100 yards up the middle and the ball went about 30 yards in the rough to the right.
I could hear the golfers who were waiting to tee off tittering away in the background.
Well was my face red.

I lifted the clubs and was walking towards my ball when the starter shouted
“Hoi put that f*****g divot back”

I had to walk up the fairway to retrieve the divot amid open laughter from the gallery,.
By this time my face was like a Belgian beetroot.

I then went to my ball and tried to hit a 5 iron up the fairway,.
I Struck a big stone next to the ball and the head flew off the club and went about forty yards onto the fairway.
I then picked up my clubs and pretended to walk up the fairway kicking the ball in front of me hoping no one would notice, and when I got to where the clubhead was lying I slipped it into my pocket and then hit the ball.
By this time Jim was in stitches.


Chriso

[Hughie]

Hi Chris,

That might have been at Elcho Park on the Geelong / Bacchus Marsh Road. We all used to play there regularly. Then get sucked into a game of pontoons at the nearby Hughey household. Truth is that at that time Chris, apart from Jim Scott, you were the only one who could swing a club properly.

This happened to me many years ago:
I hate losing practice balls so I try to keep them nice and clean so they are easy to find. My wife and youngest son were out shopping and I was scrubbing my practice balls in the laundry.

Our eldest boy then aged 5 answered a knock to the door and just before I could get there I heard him say to the lady caller,

Spoiler

I will get dad, he is in the laundry scrubbing his balls

[Meg]

These two stories brightened up a really cold, wet and windy Saturday morning. Thank you gents.

Made me think about the story my dad told me about a guy who was playing in the monthly medal at his local club - it was very much like Ayrshire this morning - and everyone was wearing rainwear. His shot ended up in the water hazard and he had to take a drop shot (which was over the shoulder in those days) but he couldn't find his dropped ball. After much looking around and time wasted, he was allowed to drop another - and they played on. It wasn't until it started raining hard enough to put their hoods up that his first dropped ball fell out of his hood - it had never made the ground

Meg

[chriso]

Hi Hughie
It was definately not Elcho park, where me Peter and Jim Hughey used to golf most Saturdays.
Me and Peter used to play for a steak dinner at the golden fleece just on the edge of geelong.
The golfing disaster definately took place at a place that had country club in it somewhere and it was just me and Jim that day.
Jim if you read this post maybe you will remember the name of the club.

Chriso

[jarneilh]

Hello Chris / Hughie

I remember that day quite well. Chris and I played at Clifton Springs down near Hughie's way, and yes, I still laugh at your anticks. Pro golfer, my a***.

Hughie, I'm glad you recall Elcho Park we had some fun there too. Do you remember the cracks on the faiway ?
they were about two feet deep and if your ball went into one the only person in the group who would be game enough to put his hand in to retrieve the ball was Peter McGurk. He was not scared of spiders or snakes.

A real nature man him. and he can have it, they spiders and snakes are not for me.

Hughie you mentioned playing pontoon at oor place "HUGHEY'S" that brought back some memories. I recall one day we were playing cards and my brother Mick had a mate there, a guy called Donny Helmore. Now this is true folks, Donny had lost all his money, had sold his watch, all his clothes, jocks socks and shoes. He was sitting there naked most of the night drinking beer trying to get his clothes back to no avail.

Anyway, come around about 5.00am Donny had to go home, and being generous people we lent Donny a pair of his trousers and a jacket and put him on the milk cart as it passed our house. He lived about four miles away. He got home alright.

After that night my brother-in-law, David who was a bit green to the way's of life used to turn up at the card nights with a suitcase full of clothes, only as a "stand-bye" just in case he lost all his money.

Ahh the stories I could tell.

See you at the reunion.

jim

[Hughie]

Thought I'd bring this old topic to the fore. The pro-golfer Jim Scott passed on a few years ago in South Africa. I'd heard he became a millionaire, I believe this was unrelated to golf. Chris returned to Scotland way back then as his father was very ill. At that time he had to get a clearance from the Australian authorities as he was eligible for inclusion in the Vietnam conscription lottery. I was lucky enough to miss out on the lottery being a couple of years older.

Anyway, if you read this from the start you might get a wee laugh - some nice memories from our early days in Australia. Being a wee bit nostalgic here.