Found an old dish towel with some interesting scotch inventions:
The average englishman in the home he calls his castle slips into his national costume - a shabby raincoat - patented by Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland. En route to his office he strides along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop of Dreghorn, Scotland. At the office he recieves the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers of Dundee, Scotland. During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkptrick Macmillan, blacksmith from Dumfries, Scotland. He watches the news on TV, an invention of John Logie Baird
of Helensburgh, Scotland and hears an item on the news about the US navy, founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.
He has now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the bible only to find that the first man to be mentioned is a scot - King James V1 - who authorised its translation. Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots. He could take to drink but the Scots make the best in the world. He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland. If he escaped death he could find himself on an operating table injected with penicillin, discovered by Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland, and given an anesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson of Bathgate, Scotland. Out of the anesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England, founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland. Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of good scottish blood which would entitle him to ask
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