BEST THREETOWN FUNNY MEMORIES

[sweet caroline]

Leaving the Western stance ,to go to Ardeer ,and forgetting to lift my Ticket machine. Ringing the bell like mad at the Barony Church. Running back to depot and away back to bus again.
Turning the corner before Kilwinning Railway Station, when a suitcase flew out the door
One driver even had the cheek to call me Jonah

SC

[morag]

been trying to think of o this, but honest, although my memories of the Threetowns are good, probably the funniest was when my big sis was glum and brooding in our bedroom. I was trying to cheer her up, swinging on the lowered clothes rope, she watching, still broody, from the upstairs window, until my antics to amuse her had me flip over on the rope, come up intact with a big grin, still hanging on to the close line..she bu Lol!rst out laughing and came down and joined me..yeah, Elise, cooda broke ma neck!

[Hughie]

It brings tears to my eyes - well it did originally back around 1958. Us lads were standing outside the Grange Cinema on a Sunday night waiting for it to open. I'd run out of Brylcreem so earlier that night someone suggested that soap is good for keeping your hair in place (Tony Curtis hairstyle period). They never mentioned that my eyes would sting standing there in the rain. Oh the humility of it all - not to mention the froth and bother.

For sometime afterwards we'd fall about laughing whenever someone played the Platter's song "Smoke (soap) Gets in Your Eyes" on the juke box in the Melbourne café. Yes! Just normal teenagers.
(First posted in 2005)

[Anne]

We stayed along Moorpark Rd West at the time and my Nearest & Dearest went training one Thursday night and stepped into the Trust for a refreshment. On the way home with his team mates they stopped at the Chemist on the corner having a blether, it got a bit out of hand and someone started shaking the weighing machine that was chained to the wall and it went through the door. As you can imagine there was a scattering of bodies in all directions. Actually the funniest thing was N & D's Mother was coming up New St later on in the night when the Police were there and her and her friend were tutting about youngsters looking for drugs !!! If she only knew then it was her Son and friends who could not even spell drugs! We often have a laugh about it ( a bit shamefully mind you ) Notice I have not mentioned names, maybe it is still an open case

[Vivc113]

I remember my grand parents living in Caledonia Road, Stevenston. (70s)

Grand mother was a great one for cakes with icing.

The cakes always had to be covered up with a pretty cloth, because gran fancied herself a bit. Anyway, my friend Jill and I visited, and decided to get under the cloth to get the cakes. We then ate the lot.

Gran lifted the cloth to no cakes, and we got chased down the road.

Also remember telling grandparents that if the ICI blew up they would be about 10th in line to die

[5eulbdog7]

The day my jeans caught fire was probably the funniest but as I have told that story, here's another. I use to be a keen sea angler and we use to go night fishing for cod. The usual heavy session in the Champion Shell and I declared that I would dig the lugworm for our next nights fishing. Staggered down to Stevenston beach at 5am when the tide was out and dug the bait. Went back home and went to bed. Got up that afternoon and couldn't find my jacket which contained my money, realising i must have left it down at the shore and so raced down there. The tide was well out but no sign of my jacket. I walked over the sand and thankfully saw a little bit of cloth protruding. I thought I could pull it out but it fell apart so I dug it out. It was an expensive leather wallet and it had survived intact with my money. The money dried ok but the jacket was lost.

[Vivc113]

The lesson in this is to cut down the Stella Artois.

[5eulbdog7]

The lesson in this is to cut down the Stella Artois.

Well yes if i drank that stuff. Why did you chooses that drink? Doubles and trebles all round.

[Hughie]

been trying to think of o this, but honest, although my memories of the Threetowns are good, probably the funniest was when my big sis was glum and brooding in our bedroom. I was trying to cheer her up, swinging on the lowered clothes rope, she watching, still broody, from the upstairs window, until my antics to amuse her had me flip over on the rope, come up intact with a big grin, still hanging on to the close line..she bu Lol!rst out laughing and came down and joined me..yeah, Elise, cooda broke ma neck!

If only we had a video of this.

[Penny Tray]

In the 1970s, the local constabulary arrested a man on behalf of their Irish colleagues and held him in custody at Saltcoats. Two Irish constables flew over, were picked up at Glasgow Airport, driven to the Lauriston Hotel where overnight accommodation had been arranged, treated to an evening of Scottish hospitality in the ‘Lauriston’, picked up early the following morning, driven to Saltcoats Police Office, introduced to their prisoner, and driven to the Winton Pier at Ardrossan, the prisoner having exercised his option to sail as opposed to fly, and, having been briefed on more than one occasion with regard to the name of the vessel on which they were to embark, the Irish officers and their charge were last seen walking towards the ‘LION’.

They ‘phoned the Saltcoats polis about an hour and a half later to say they were somewhere called BRODICK!

Left to their own devices for the square root of two minutes they convinced themselves that the boat with the LION on the funnel (the Caledonian MacBrayne emblem) had to be the ‘LION’ so often referred to.

[John Donnelly]

Just after Stevenston became a borough, two members of the council who were also JP's were walking up New Street after a reception in the Borough Chambers. Needing a pee, they both nipped into the pend opposite the Livingston Church.
They were caught in the act by a policeman who charged them and they had to appear at the court the next morning. One of the two had duty as the JP that morning, so they decided that they would 'try' each other.
The first councillor took his place on the bench and fined the other five shillings, upon which they changed places.
The second councillor took his place on the bench and fined the first councillor in the dock five pounds. When the first councillor objected, the second councillor on the bench said, 'this is the second case of such behaviour this morning and I feel obliged to make a example of it to deter such behaviour in the future.
JD
The names of the two are known but will remain confidential.

[5siamese7]

Hard to believe in that that the burgh chambers which has toilets is less than 100 yards from where the alleged crime was committed.